"The Big Bang Theory: Pilot (#1.1)" (2007)

• Sheldon: But then some poor woman is going to pin her hopes on my sperm, what if she winds up with a toddler that doesn't know if he should use an integral or a differential to solve for the area under a curve?
• Leonard: I'm sure she'll still love him.
• Sheldon: I wouldn't.
• Leonard: So, tell us about you.
• Penny: Um, me? Okay - I'm a Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more than you need to know.
• Sheldon: Yes - it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.
• Penny: [stares at Sheldon in utter confusion] Participateinthewhat?
• Leonard: [scrambling to save face] I think what Sheldon is trying to say is that Sagittarius wouldn't have been our first guess.
• Penny: Oh, yeah - lot of people think I'm a water sign.
• Penny: Four years I lived with him! Four years, I mean that's like as long as high school!
• Sheldon: It took you FOUR YEARS to get through high school!
• Sheldon: If by "Holy Smokes", you mean a derivative restatment of the kind of stuff you could find scribbled on the wall of any men's room at MIT, sure.